


In Between the Lines

by space_kid



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Character Study, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 15:18:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13216524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/space_kid/pseuds/space_kid
Summary: Everything Todd did, in Neil's eyes, was gentle.





	In Between the Lines

In between the lines of life laid love.

It was something Neil took to heart and wrapped his hands around softly, cupping the words closer to him and never letting go. The early morning mites flew in the sunlight drenched air, warmth seeping into his bones and keeping him. The world waited outside on pause, birds chirping and the population moving in rhythm; inside the home they built, however, it was slow and soft and gentle and earned.

Neil opened his eyes slowly, blinking them awake. He shifted under the covers of the blanket and sighed quietly in content. It was so peaceful inside without the harshness of the world beating them down. He could finally lay in the bed, arm wrapped around Todd, feet tangled and he thought 'in between the lines of life, laid love.'

It was something Todd whispered to him one night at Welton, the snow falling outside silently and the moon shining on his tired face. They sat on Neil's bed, watching it slowly descend and their fingers intertwined and pressed on the mattress. Tomorrow would be the play and they both knew everything was going to change. Whether it was for the better or for the worse, they would become different people the next day and Neil was terrified. Not of the play or his lines, but of the change. He found a nice balance between life and Todd, he was happy living in the "later" mentality. However as time moved, it ticked on until the future became the now. Neil always thought time was funny in that way: it never stopped for anything. No matter how good it could be or how rancid a day had been, the sun was still going to set and the day would always end. Now however, he was committed. He accepted that change was bound and he was scared of what would happen. To him, to the Poets, to Todd.

"In between the lines of life laid love," Todd whispered to Neil, not looking at him, and squeezed his hand. It brought Neil down and grounded him to the mattress and to the snow outside. Tomorrow could wait, he was with Todd in the in between.

Neil ran his hand slowly down Todd's arm and took his hand softly in the warmth of their morning bed. Before it all he never would've guessed that something like this could happen for him. He never got what he wanted so to get the only thing he yearned for so greatly almost made up for it all. That didn't stop Neil from ignoring the invitation to his father's funeral, however. Let him be the one alone when he wanted someone.

It was something Todd told him while they were at the grocery store at 2 am because they couldn't sleep and they wanted to live a bit. The florescent lights hissed above them as they put random assortments into their cart to enjoy in their new apartment. Neil grinned as he heaved the cart forward and rode in the handle, cascading down the aisle while Todd giggled helplessly. They were the only two in the store besides the unfortunate cashier and they felt electrified for the first time in a long time. Out of Vermont, away from their families, falling into the future while the gripped each other tightly. If Neil told his past self of this adventure, he wouldn't have believed it.

"In between the lines of life laid love," Todd whispered against his ear playfully before kissing his cheek and running off and away to find more treats and smiling like a madman. Neil melted in adoration and not for the first time, fell in love with Todd Anderson.

Neil smiled in the sunlight, drowning in comfort and the softness in the room. He didn't know how someone like Todd could be in a world so cruel and ugly. Back at Welton, Neil would wonder aimlessly about how everything Todd did was so gentle and kind. He spoke softly until he didn't or didn't speak at all until he needed to. His words was in novels and writing but his voice was heavenly. Todd always knew what to tell Neil when he needed to hear it. They balanced one another out; Neil told Todd to jump and Todd held him back.

It was something Todd told him while they waited in a doctor's office next to one another, hand on top of one another. Neil's eyes were red from crying and his whole body ached and fizzed like a live wire; his medication cause unforeseen symptoms and now they waited to seek help from a doctor. They spent the whole night talking and crying and yelling until Neil agreed to go. They both had regrets heavy on their minds, of things they wished they said and of things they wished they could take back. Neil gripped Todd's hand tighter. They still had papers to write for classes next week, Neil knew the pain of having to call the school to request sick days for mental breakdowns and now the responsibility fell onto Todd. He hated himself for it.

"In between the lines of life laid love," Todd mumbled to him, bowing his head as the television hoisted above their heads rolled on. Neil couldn't look over at Todd, afraid of what he would do. Instead, he brought Todd's hand up to his mouth and gently kissed it, to tell him what he couldn't say. They were okay.

Neil shifted closer to Todd under the covers, wrapping his arms around him in a sleepy embrace. The warmth from Todd made Neil's insides go fuzzy, every inch of him holding onto Todd and with no intention of letting go. His father tried to stop him. His father broke him down and tried to put the pieces together in the wrong order, shapes misaligned and out of place. Todd came along and noticed. He knew he couldn't help Neil himself, not on his own. What he did instead was gave Neil the tools himself and gave Neil a home to do it; he waited by Neil until he was okay, but Todd did not fix Neil. He fixed himself.

It was something Neil told Todd, when they stood in their apartment in the kitchen going over the mail. A letter had arrived, informing Todd that his parents were dead and he had been written out of their will. He would get no money, no possessions, nothing from his family. Even beyond the grave they still managed to do damage. Todd ripped the letter apart in an act that Neil had never seen from Todd, and buried his face in his hands. His breath grew erratic and Todd began to quickly wipe tears away before they culminated. Neil, who was always looking at Todd in some way, noticed immediately; it wasn't as though Todd never cried. But they were not tears of sadness. He was angrier than Neil had ever seen. Neil felt the planes overhead and the cars outside stop as Todd began to burn out like a firecracker. All that was pent up from childhood, from high school, from college and now had been released in that kitchen with the mail.

After it was said and done and Todd was exhausted, Neil carefully and painfully slowly, wiped a tear from Todd's cheek. "In between the lines of life laid love," he told him. And when Todd told him he wanted to go to bed, they went hand in hand.

Todd's eyes opened then, squinting in the light and delightfully crinkled in drowsiness. Neil leaned over and kissed his forehead, mumbling a good morning. 

Neil didn't know if Todd knew how gentle he was, how everything he did was painted in the colors of a setting sun and Neil adored it. Their breathing mingled softly and they clutched each other, together. 

"You make love easy," he mumbled. Todd chuckled.

"I can't take all the credit. I'm simply following your lead." Todd moved closer to Neil and Neil hugged him tighter.

"How did I get so lucky?"

"You wooed me with your acting," Todd joked. They let out matching sleepy laughs.

Neil thought that he was the luckiest man alive and felt treasured that he could be so in love with someone it took over. Everytime he saw Todd it was like the first time again, in their dorm room in the middle of Vermont. He remembers the cold and his thorn crown and locks them away in favor of holding Todd. It was second nature, blessed and holy.

"I'm in love with you," he tells Todd. When he checks, Todd is back asleep in his arms. 

And it was glorious.

 

**Author's Note:**

> *cocks gun* come to @anderperri on tumblr at yell at me about anderperry


End file.
